


Prompt #15

by Ambros



Series: Tumblr Prompts [15]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Tumblr Prompt, happy ending of course, kind of a, post 2x18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 14:43:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11693838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambros/pseuds/Ambros
Summary: Anonymous asked: PROMPT: Magnus says "I love you" first for the first time





	Prompt #15

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm sorry, but a few people were wonderful enough to send me some prompts, so you'll see a lot of me *hides*  
> Let me know what you think? :)

Someone's knocking at your door, fast and insistent, and you already know it's him, from the way your wards come down immediately and your magic wraps around him, inviting him in and pulling him close, and you just feel _tired_.

You almost, almost think about leaving him there, but the truth is, you'd never be able to.

So you go and you open the door and he's there. He's got shadows under his eyes and he's leaning heavily against the wall, but he straightens up as soon as he sees you, says: -Magnus,- with a bit of hesitation and doesn't come closer, like he doesn't know whether he's still welcome or not.

You take a step back but you don't close the door and he comes in, looking around like he expects something to be different.

You say: -What do you need?- and it's harsh, harsher than you'd meant it, and he winces, takes a small step back.

-I – think I deserve that,- he says, words slightly jumbled in that way that is simply Alec, and it looks like it takes him a breath to work himself up to saying: -I'm sorry,- and you almost walk away, but then –

-I was wrong. And I've been wrong a lot with you and I should have known better,- he clears his throat, looks away for a second, -But you fought for me, when I was being stubborn and blind, so I'm – I'm going to fight for us. But if you want me gone,- he swallows, looks you in the eyes, -Just say so and I will. Go.

( _Oh_ , you never wanted him gone, you never want him gone, you want him _here_ , in your life and in your arms and in your bed.)

You stay quiet and his lips curl up the tiniest bit.

-The thing is,- he twists his fingers, presses them against the palm of his hand, -It's simple, I just – I want to be next to you. I want – I want to be with you but, more than anything, I want you to be happy.

Everything stops and he's looking at you and he doesn't _know_ what he just did – he's said it like it's the most obvious thing in the world but it hit you in the chest, leaving you with no air to breathe, because it's _not_ , it's not _simple_ , how can he think of it as _obvious_ –

-And if it's easier for you to be happy without me, without _us_ , then – I just – it'd be okay,- he says, and he sounds like it wouldn't be okay at all, but he's looking at you with a stubborn set to his jaw like he's saying _eventually_.

-And I'm not being self-sacrificing,- he adds, and you can kind of see it, how he's practiced this with Izzy and Jace and Clary, and maybe Max while he heals, and someone's looked at him and went _you sound too self-sacrificing_. It almost makes you smile.

-I want you, Magnus,- he says, and there's so much strength behind those words you can't not believe him, -I want you more than I've ever wanted anything else in this world and I want to be selfish about it, but I _can't_ , not if it ended up hurting you.

His eyes are sad when he focuses on the omamori still in your hand: -I meant it,- he whispers, -I want to give you luck and protection, and a million other things. But if I _can't_ , then – I don't want to be in your way.

_I want you to be happy_ , and he's saying _with or without me, it doesn't matter,_ and it's your choice because he's here and he's fighting and he's given everything he has, and if that's not enough for you then it's okay, he'll walk away and he'll set his own happiness aside, _for you_.

And that's – no, _no_ , _no_ , that's not how it's supposed to be, it's pointless, if you find love and then you just let go when you haven't given everything you have then _what's the point_ , it hurts and it's difficult but that's _okay_ , it means you're still fighting, it means –

-I love you,- and you say it out loud and first and you let go of that fear that it might not be the same for him, and you say it like you've only just realised how bone-deep _true_ it is, like it's anchored in your blood, and his eyes are big and hopeful and confused, and -I _love you_ ,- again, you think there's a smile on your lips, and -My stupid Nephilim,- as you crushe into him, his arms immediately around your waist, -How could I be happy without you?-, a whisper on his neck, and -Relationships take effort, right?

He says: -So I've heard,- his voice muffled, and you chuckle against his skin, hold him tighter.

Yeah, you've heard so too.

  



End file.
